Faith Over Fear: What Happened When I Stopped Watching the Numbers

Last week, I wrote an email about transformation being subtle… until suddenly. (If you’re not on the list, you can join here.)

And then this week, I had to live that lesson myself.

If I’m being honest, I was letting the natural take hold of me.

Watching numbers.
Comparing.
Remembering the last time Volume 1 reached the Top 10 and quietly feeling a little “less than” because Volume 2 wasn’t there yet.

Which is ironic, because I know better.

This work was never supposed to be about rankings.
It’s about impact.
It’s about emotional wellness reaching the people it’s meant to reach.

But still, I kept checking.

Refreshing the page.
Watching the numbers dip.
Letting anxiety whisper.

Until I caught myself.

And in that moment, I remembered something simple many of us have heard before:

If you’re going to pray, don’t worry.
And if you’re going to worry, don’t pray.

So I released it.

I surrendered it back to God.

I stopped refreshing the page.
I stopped trying to control what was never mine to control in the first place.

And I praised God anyway.

Suddenly

Later, my publisher sent me a message.

Up until that point, I had been seeing numbers in the 3000s.

But when they checked the ranking, Volume 2 had moved to #38 on Amazon.

I didn’t even see it happen.

Because the moment I stopped watching the numbers… God moved.

No loud campaign.
No frantic pushing.

Just obedience and trust.

And that felt like confirmation of something deeper:

Anxiety works hard, but obedience and faith will always outwork it.

A Reminder for You (and for Me)

Sometimes we get so focused on outcomes that we forget why we started.

Sometimes we measure progress in ways that don’t actually reflect purpose.

Sometimes we start refreshing the page instead of resting in the promise.

But this moment reminded me that the work we are called to do will reach the people it’s meant to reach in the timing it’s meant to happen.

Our role is simply to show up.

To do the work.

To trust God with the rest.

A Moment for Reflection

As you sit with this story, consider:

Where in your life might fear or comparison be distracting you from trusting the process?

Is there something you’ve been holding tightly that may actually need to be surrendered?

Sometimes the breakthrough happens when we stop refreshing the page and start resting in faith.

Thank You

If you purchased the workbook…
If you shared it…
If you joined Book Club…
Or if you’ve simply been quietly supporting this journey…

Thank you.

This community values intentional, reflective, therapist-guided emotional work.

And that means everything to me.

If you’d like to explore the workbook in community, we reflect on these themes together inside Book Club, moving through the exercises at a human pace with space for conversation, grounding, and creative processing.

There’s no pressure to have it all figured out.

Just room to grow.

🎥 You can watch the reflection video below.